Liberating yourself from limiting beliefs
In the previous post, I covered some common cognitive distortions. The good news is that once you become aware of these distortions, your brain becomes more capable of noticing and self-correcting them. This is one of the many reasons I encourage mental wellness should be taught in high schools. Once we learn how our brainforest works, our brains become smarter at noticing and correcting distortions, allowing us to teach our brains to think healthily. However, someone has to teach us how to do this first. If schools covered this content, new generations would likely develop healthier thinking styles from an earlier age and experience less mental struggle than we do.
Today, I will cover another burden preventing your trees from growing healthily in your brainforest: limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are deeply held convictions or assumptions that constrain us in some way. These beliefs are often about ourselves, our abilities, our potential, the world around us, and our relationships. They can hold us back from reaching our full potential by creating a negative perception of ourselves or our circumstances. Limiting beliefs are often subconscious, making them challenging to identify and change, but addressing them can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life.
Limiting beliefs are hidden in our subconscious and can be difficult to recognize and remove.
Since these beliefs are hidden in our subconscious, they can be difficult to recognize and remove. We often hide certain parts of ourselves from ourselves when the information is unpleasant. Essentially, we tell our brain, “I don’t want to see this ugly thing,” and the brain complies by hiding it in the subconscious. However, hiding these beliefs doesn’t make them disappear; they continue to affect us and prevent our trees from growing, hindering our ability to reach our full potential. Examples of common limiting beliefs include “I am not enough,” “I am a failure,” or “I am a fraud.”
To identify these hidden beliefs, the most ideal way is with an external person who has specifically been trained to challenge these beliefs and confront us with specific questions that can help us uncover them, typically a coach. But is there a way to work on this by ourselves?
Signs that a Limiting Belief is Preventing You from Achieving Your Full Potential
If you’re trying to change something about yourself or your life but can’t seem to make progress, or if you act contrary to what you really want, it may be a sign of a limiting belief. Here are some examples:
– You want to take time off to travel but never seem to find the time.
– Despite your high qualifications, you consistently earn a low salary.
– You want to find a partner but don’t take any steps to meet someone.
How to Explore Your Subconscious to Identify Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are really challenging to modify on your own, so don’t be harsh on yourself if you don’t manage to identify them. Here is a process you can try to experiment a bit. Writing it down can make a significant difference:
1. Identify the area of your life where you feel stuck. (e.g., Not finding time for myself)
2. Write down your current situation vs. your desired situation. (e.g., Current situation: “I don’t have time for myself.” Desired situation: “I have time to go to the gym, salon, and for evening walks.”)
3. Answer the following questions:
– What prevents you from achieving your desired situation? (e.g., I work long hours every day.)
– What happens if you stop doing what prevents you from achieving your desired situation? (e.g., I feel bad because I think they will fire me.)
– How do you feel when you attempt your desired situation? (e.g., Guilty)
– What is actually preventing you from achieving your desired situation? (e.g., I feel bad if I take time for myself.)
– Because… (e.g., Because I feel guilty for being unproductive.)
– Because… (If it makes sense to ask again) (e.g., Because it might lead me to poverty.)
4. Re-read your answers and identify any internal conflicts. For instance, you want time for yourself but feel bad when you take time for yourself. This is useful information. Don’t judge your limiting beliefs; they don’t need to make sense or be real or rational. Your mission is just to identify them so they untie from the roots of your trees and let them grow freely. Most of the time, your subconscious is just trying to protect you from some perceived danger (not necessarily real), and it just does it in the best possible way. So it’s worth listening and acknowledging its efforts. Interpret based on what you wrote (e.g., Taking time off is not allowed in my subconscious because I fear it might lead to poverty. I am aware this is actually a bit of an extreme and unlikely scenario, but I thank my subconscious for acknowledging the importance of being a hard worker in any case).
5. Once you’ve interpreted what is happening, answer: What would you tell a friend who had this belief? Answer as if you were really writing to your friend.
6. Close your eyes and visualize how you would feel in your desired situation (e.g., See yourself going to the gym, enjoying the salon, and walking in the evening. Feel the positive emotions associated with these activities.)
7. Find a question that reconciles your conflicting parts: Can you allow yourself to take a little time for yourself and still be productive? Answer: Yes!
8. Decide and write down what you can do differently from now on, starting with “I will…” (e.g., I will reserve Tuesday evenings and block my agenda to go to the gym or just relax.)
9. Find three positive affirmations that can support you in reaching your desired situation, and remember them from time to time (e.g., “Taking care of myself makes me more productive and happier”).
By following these steps, you can begin to identify and change the limiting beliefs that prevent you from reaching your ideal life or ideal version of yourself, and will also allow the trees in your brainforest to grow healthier and more robust.
Ready for a more intensive, fast, and effective process? Discover how the Conscious Self-Rewiring Coaching Method can accelerate your personal growth. Book a complimentary 30-minute discovery call with Dr. Laura to explore the Healthy Success Coaching program. Coaching sessions online. In-person coaching sessions in Dubai and the UAE.