Why does our brainforest ‘burn out’?
Sometimes we reach an unpleasant state where we feel permanently fatigued, emotionally and energetically drained, cynical, distant, and incompetent. In work-related contexts, this is typically called burnout. However, this state is not exclusive to work. It can result from many other circumstances, such as parental or caregiving responsibilities. Someone who volunteers extensively for a cause they deeply care about might also reach this state if they don’t feel others are appreciating their hard work or contributing to the cause.
Essentially, this state, where your brain declares itself on strike, results from a prolonged period where you felt you were giving more than you were receiving in exchange, you had to give more than you could afford (mentally speaking), or you were willing to give more but weren’t given the opportunity. This imbalance can happen at work, as a caregiver, as a student, as part of an NGO, as part of your cause for society, and so on.
Burnout results from a prolonged period where you felt you were giving more than you were receiving in exchange, you had to give more than you could afford (mentally speaking), or you were willing to give more but weren’t given the opportunity
What Happened in Our ‘Brainforest’ Before It ‘Burned Out’?
If you live in a green area surrounded by forests with hot and dry summers, you know that summers are generally a dangerous time. Nature becomes drier and drier due to a lack of rain, making the forest highly susceptible to burning down.
Just as forests need water as their nourishing source, so does our brainforest. If we use all our internal resources but do not obtain enough nourishing sources to reenergize, we put our brainforest at risk of burning out.
Just as forests need water as their nourishing source, so does our brainforest. If we use all our internal resources but do not obtain enough nourishing sources to reenergize, we put our brainforest at risk of burning out.
We exchange resources with three ecosystems: the external environment, other people, and ourselves.
From all of them, we can obtain nourishing resources, we can give nourishing resources, and we can also feel we get resources stolen from us.
From the external environment, we can obtain nourishing resources from activities such as spending time in nature, hiking, sunbathing, relaxing at the beach, doing sports, traveling for pleasure, reading for pleasure, and, in general, anything that reenergizes us. However, we can also feel the environment is taking resources from us, as if a pest was attacking our brainforest. For instance, if we live in a place where we feel constantly unsafe or disrespected, or in a very polluted and noisy city.
From other people, we can give and receive resources, such as love, appreciation, gratitude, compassion, empathy, and understanding. When there is balance from both sides, giving doesn’t deplete our resources; it reinforces each other’s resources. It is as if we were sending a butterfly to a neighboring forest to help with pollination. However, when there is imbalance, such as if we put a lot of effort into a personal or work relationship but don’t receive appreciation, we are using resources without receiving any in return. When we speak about toxic environments, it is a bit as if a pest had spread among all the neighboring brainforests, and it is affecting us as well.
From within ourselves, when we love ourselves and take good care of ourselves, are self-compassionate, and thank ourselves for our efforts and achievements, we provide ourselves with resources. Practices such as mindfulness and meditation can also contribute in this regard. If we are excessively harsh on ourselves or need to work on aspects related to our mental wellness, such as cognitive biases and limiting beliefs, we can also steal resources from ourselves. For instance, one part of ourselves might set unrealistic career expectations, and no matter how hard we work, we feel we are never going to achieve them.
We must also be mindful that sometimes we might be the ones unknowingly taking resources from others. Our brainforests are all interrelated. Therefore, working on ourselves is not only for our benefit; it is an act of altruism, as we inevitably impact others through our interactions.
The Role of the Subjective Internal Compass
What’s interesting about this constant exchange of resources is that a subjective internal compass plays a big role in determining how the resources get allocated in the give-and-take game.
Let’s see this with an example. Jordan lives in a city and loves it. Their focus is on how vibrant and full of leisure opportunities the city is, and they feel the city is a good fit for them. Spending time in the city doing leisure activities acts as a nourishing resource for Jordan. Meanwhile, Casey lives in the same city but hates it. They feel unsafe and don’t see good professional opportunities for their career in that city. The pollution and lack of green areas are also big problems for Casey. To them, the city takes more resources than it brings.
Let’s look at a second example, work-related. Alex works 11 hours a day but feels really engaged with the project and appreciated by the team. They are also good at celebrating their achievements. Even if Alex is using a lot of resources due to the hard work, they receive plenty of resources back from others and from themselves, so there is balance. On the other hand, Taylor has an 8-hour shift but generally sneaks out an hour early. They are completely demotivated, feel their work environment is toxic, and are harsh on themselves, feeling they are not meeting the high expectations they set. Taylor is using more resources than they are receiving back and is therefore at a higher risk of burnout than Alex, even if Alex objectively works more hours.
The Importance of Nourishing Our Brainforest
In sum, our brainforest needs nourishing resources to flourish and maintain its well-being. If we don’t get enough of these nourishing resources, we start feeling exhausted. If the situation continues, our trees get so dry to the point that our brainforest eventually burns out.
What We Don’t Want to Hear When Our Brainforest is at Risk of Burnout
When we are in an imbalanced situation where we feel we give more than we receive, we generally focus on blaming the other party (e.g., “My boss did this to me”). By doing so, we underestimate our power to change the situation and essentially get stuck. We cannot control what others do; therefore, focusing on the other party won’t lead to changes. However, we can focus on what WE do. Whenever you feel you are giving more resources than you can afford and not receiving enough in return to nourish your brainforest, ask yourself and answer the following questions on paper:
– What is in your power to change this situation? What, specifically, can you do?
– How can you modify your current situation so that you obtain the resources you need?
– Alternatively, how can you organize your life differently to achieve more resources from a different source outside this situation?
Accountability is key to protecting your brainforest. Since what you need is determined by your subjective internal compass, you are the one who knows best how to provide yourself with the necessary nourishing resources to have a lush brainforest, and it is in your power to do so. Now that we have seen all the sources with which we exchange energy, you are ready to create your own plan.
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