Exploring the hidden parts of your ‘Brainforest’
In previous posts, we journeyed through the ‘brainforest’ and saw that sometimes we reach pleasant spots with healthy trees and pristine lakes within ourselves that make us happy, whereas other times we find ourselves in undesirable spots with declining forests that feel unhealthy. We learned that retraining our brains in a healthy and empowering direction is critical to leading ourselves to the pleasant spots. As we do this, the pathways leading to the unpleasant spots naturally become smaller and more difficult to access. But what originates these declining forests, and how can we revitalize them?
For each of us, a declining forest might be related to a different aspect. Some declining forests might appear when you reach a mental state (a destination in your brainforest) in which you feel you lack confidence, feel anxious about giving a public speech, feel unhappy and psychologically unwell, have a phobia or imposter syndrome, feel inexplicably unable to change something about yourself, or feel too shy to speak to someone you like, among many other situations.
In these destinations, your trees aren’t able to grow, but you don’t understand why. When we want to change something about ourselves, such as feeling happier, more confident, more capable of achieving our goals, or less anxious… we tend to approach it as a skill that we lack and need to build (e.g., build confidence). However, the key question is not as much about how to grow your trees (e.g., your confidence, your happiness) but: WHAT IS PREVENTING YOUR TREES FROM GROWING?
The key question is: what is preventing your trees from growing?
Limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions prevent your trees from growing
The key is hidden in the roots, but because the roots are not visible when you visit your declining forest, you are not able to see what is preventing your trees from growing strong and healthy. The roots are underground, and the underground of your brainforest is your subconscious.
The burdens that hang from the roots, preventing your trees from growing, are limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions. You need to untie them from the roots, and then you’ll be able to grow your trees in a healthy and strong way that feels long-lasting.
As you might remember from previous posts, thoughts/language, emotions, and body/action are all interrelated.
Limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions belong to the sphere of thoughts/language. They have a direct impact on your emotions and can generate fear, guilt, anxiety, frustration, hopelessness… as well as significantly limit your capacity to take action or change what you are trying to change (e.g., be more confident, be happier).
One might attempt to get rid of fear or anxiety or any other unpleasant emotion. But to fully get rid of them, you don’t need to get rid of them; you need to read the information they contain. Let me explain. Emotions have a reason to exist, and generally, they are just giving us some information about what is going on in our mind-brain ecosystem, so it doesn’t make much sense to try to change them. This would be similar to finding a warning sign on the road and removing it instead of using it to get information about the conditions of the road. What you need to do is inspect the roots of the tree to reveal the specific limiting belief or cognitive distortion triggering them. Once you find it, you need to untie it from your tree. After that, the emotion will naturally change to indicate the new information, for instance, excitement or calmness.
The burdens that hang from the roots, preventing your trees from growing, are limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions.
Let’s take this example. Imagine you are scared of giving a public speech in front of an audience or talking to your boss about a problem.
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat. The information that you are getting in this case is that you are perceiving public speaking or speaking to your boss as a threat. Therefore, it is normal that your body generates fear because it needs to provide you with the information that there is a perceived threat (which is not necessarily a real threat). What you need to change if you don’t want to experience fear and anxiety and you want to perform with confidence is the limiting belief or cognitive distortion that makes you perceive a given situation as a threat. Then, your body won’t generate fear and anxiety because it won’t need to provide you with the information that there is a threat. If you start perceiving the situation as something you look forward to doing and as an opportunity to share what you know, the emotion will naturally change to excitement.
Let’s work on another example. Imagine you often feel guilty about taking time for yourself, such as relaxing or pursuing a hobby. Guilt is an emotional response to the perception that you are doing something wrong or neglecting your responsibilities. To move past this, you need to identify and challenge the limiting belief that causes this perception in your specific case. It might be related to the fact that you believe you should always be productive or taking care of others or that you perceive taking time for yourself as a form of selfishness or neglect. Once you modify this belief and understand relaxing as a beneficial thing for yourself, you will get a more pleasant emotion such as calmness and joy.
In the next edition, I will continue more specifically with how to identify the limiting beliefs and cognitive distortions that prevent your trees from growing, and how to get rid of them, so you can progressively revitalize all the declining forests existing in your brainforest.
Ready for a more intensive, fast, and effective process? Discover how the Conscious Self-Rewiring Coaching Method can accelerate your personal growth. Book a complimentary 30-minute discovery call with Dr. Laura to explore the Healthy Success Coaching program. Coaching sessions online. In-person coaching sessions in Dubai and the UAE.