Don’t overthink your overthinking -resolve it
Unfortunately, most educational systems don’t include mental wellness in their curriculums. Given this critical gap, it’s not surprising that many people develop unhealthy thinking styles that lead to a myriad of mental struggles, including overthinking, anxiety, low mood, blockages, insomnia, etc.
If no one taught us mental wellness, it’s understandable that we develop unhealthy thinking patterns. The good news is that thinking healthily is a skill you can learn and train, just as you learned to speak and count.
Thinking healthily is just a skill you can learn and train.
Overthinking
Overthinking is the act of excessively analyzing or dwelling on a situation or problem, often leading to stress, anxiety, and difficulty making decisions. It involves repetitive thoughts that hinder effective problem-solving and can result in mental exhaustion and reduced productivity. It can apply to past, present, or future events.
When your mind-brain ecosystem engages in overthinking, you can use the external observer and ask: “Am I training my brain-mind ecosystem in the right direction?” If you remember from previous articles, the external observer technique is the ability to observe yourself from the outside without judgment.
Let’s look at how to use the external observer to resolve overthinking.
Only bring problems to your attention if it’s to resolve them
The first step is to distinguish whether you’re overthinking your problem just to overthink it, or if you’re approaching it with a clear intention and strategy for resolution: only bring a problem to your head if it’s to resolve it.
Sometimes, overthinking is driven by subconscious fears such as fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of making the wrong decision. These fears can hinder our ability to take action.
At other times, we may become trapped in repetitive thought patterns about past events, which prevent us from engaging in a productive thought process that leads to problem resolution.
There are various forms of overthinking. Regardless, what matters is that you can train your mind-brain ecosystem in a way that will significantly reduce overthinking.
Overthinking often stems from not having learned efficient thinking styles for problem-solving. By developing these skills, you can significantly decrease the tendency to overthink.
Below is a well-proven question-based protocol that we use very often in coaching processes. This process is designed to guide you through the essential stages of problem-solving: 1) clear and objective definition of the problem, 2) exploration of the problem, 3) exploration of potential solutions, and 4) encouragement and commitment to take action. Adopting it for yourself can help you train your mind-brain ecosystem to develop a more solution-oriented thinking style. Ideally, it is best to answer these questions in writing:
1. What is going on? Describe the situation as specifically and objectively as possible.
2. What have you already tried to resolve this situation?
3. Among the attempted solutions, what worked?
4. What didn’t work?
5. What is in your power to achieve?
6. Focus on the part that is in your power to achieve. What can you do differently?
7. What else can you try? List as many options as possible.
8. From your list of potential solutions, which will you do first, second, third, etc.? Select only the ones you actually plan to do and establish a clear order.
9. When are you going to execute the first step on your list?
After answering all the questions, tell yourself “I now have a clear plan to resolve this situation. I commit to my plan and will do [num 1] on [specified date]. It is now time to take action”.
After this, you’ve done your homework. The next step is to take action. Don’t bring the same problem to your mind again unless further troubleshooting is necessary in the future, after completing your current plan.
Over time, as you continue to use this question-based roadmap, you will begin to apply it naturally, breaking the cycle of going in circles and also improving your problem-solving skills
When overthinking prevents you from sleeping
A particularly inconvenient moment for many people is when overthinking prevents them from sleeping. What if you wake up in the middle of the night, your mind full of thoughts, and you can’t fall back asleep?
You can use your external observer to examine your mind and resolve it. First of all, observe your thoughts. What are they thinking about? Most likely, it is one of these two:
Either something related to a problem you cannot solve here and now or thoughts such as: “I can’t sleep, I have insomnia!”
The goal of your external observer is to pull yourself out of the scenario you are overthinking.
As we’ve discussed in previous articles, repressing your thoughts or trying to stop your mind from thinking can be particularly challenging, especially in the middle of the night when you’re tired. However, replacing your thoughts with others is relatively straightforward and effective.
The easiest way to modify your thoughts is to focus on the language you use to build them. Instead of saying “I can’t sleep” or building thoughts around your problem, start building thoughts around the here-and-now situation in a positive and comforting manner, as well as emphasize how good you are at sleeping:
“I am so good at sleeping, this bed is so comfortable, this pillow is so comfortable, It feels so good to be in my bed…”
If you are feeling anxious, you can also practice a very simple exercise designed to train gratitude and self-compassion, which will also help you to calm down:
“I feel grateful for…[find 10 things for your list]
“I thank myself for…[find 10 things for your list]
Finally, incorporating mindfulness or meditation into your weekly routine can also help reduce the likelihood of overthinking at night.
Ready for a more intensive, fast, and effective process? Discover how the Conscious Self-Rewiring Coaching Method can accelerate your personal growth. Book a complimentary 30-minute discovery call with Dr. Laura to explore the Healthy Success Coaching program. Coaching sessions online. In-person coaching sessions in Dubai and the UAE.