COACH 101: ONLINE COACHING RESOURCES
Activating the gear of healthy success (part II)
In the previous edition, we explored how to develop our “external observer” capacity, which is the ability to observe ourselves from an outside perspective without judgement. As we develop this ability, we start to see ourselves for what we truly are: a human being. As this process unfolds, we progressively enhance our understanding of our mind-brain ecosystem, adopting a more professional perspective, akin to how a doctor views a human body.
We also saw that once we are able to observe our true nature through the lens of a curious kid playing scientist, we can “de-construct” ourselves. This deconstruction reveals that we are essentially composed of three elements: thoughts, emotions, and a physical body. These three components of our human being are interrelated, meaning that altering one will impact the others.
When our thoughts become overwhelming, leading us into negativity spirals, overthinking, or rumination, we might erroneously believe that controlling our thoughts is necessary to stay mentally healthy. Yet, there is a simpler way to navigate all this.
When our thoughts become overwhelming, we might believe that controlling our thoughts is necessary to stay mentally healthy. Yet, there is a simpler way to navigate all this.
As I also covered in the previous edition, “thoughts” is a very abstract concept and, for this reason, thinking about your thoughts as thoughts complicates matters. However, if you think of them as language, which is something specific you can act upon, things get easier.
We communicate with ourselves with language, and the language we choose determines our perception of reality.
Let’s look at this with a new example: Imagine you have just received a negative evaluation of a work project.
You can either use negative language to communicate with yourself: “This evaluation is just a clear indication that I am not meant to do this and I’ve totally failed.”
Or constructive language: “This feedback is valuable to be taken into consideration and improve my results in the future.”
Both of them are true and, interestingly, none of them is technically right or wrong, as we are in the realm of interpretation.
We subjectively interpret external information, but we tend to be unaware of this constant interpretation process taking place in our mind-brain ecosystem. Precisely because we necessarily have to interpret the information, as this is how we are designed to function, we have a choice. The choice is between you and you: you deciding to use negative language, or you deciding to use constructive language.
We subjectively interpret external information, but we tend to be unaware of this constant interpretation process taking place in our mind-brain ecosystem.
There are some specific techniques you can apply to start rewiring towards using more encouraging language to communicate with yourself. One is to use your external observer. Whenever a difficult situation happens and you elaborate an interpretation in the negative direction, ask yourself: “Is this interpretation helping or hindering?”
If you realize your interpretation is unhelpful or unhealthy, take a moment to mindfully rewrite a different version. For that, ask yourself: “What could be a more positive way to build this story from the empowered mindset?”
Since thoughts (or language), emotions, and body are interconnected, progressively modifying your language to speak more positively will also create a positive impact on your emotions. As you find ways to speak to yourself differently, this will also release a lot of inner pressure.
Let’s now move to the second component.
Ask yourself: “What could be a more positive way to build this story from the empowered mindset?”
Emotions
Emotions are an integral part of our human configuration. They have several reasons to exist, from survival to interpersonal communication.
Some of us tend to focus a lot on our emotions and we try to change them when they are unpleasant. But what is the best way to get rid of them?
Emotions are like crying babies seeking attention. The more attention you pay to them, the more they seem to grow. Therefore, it is a better strategy to pay them less attention. If an unpleasant emotion bothers you, don’t attempt to change it or repress it, simply embrace it and let it be, because it’s just temporary and it has a reason to emerge, let it do its function. The less attention you pay to a difficult emotion, the faster it will likely dissipate.
If you want to explore the reason the emotion was triggered, explore your language instead, since they are interrelated. What we tell ourselves may influence how we feel, whether we feel excited or we feel down. If we start using encouraging language we will feel energized and ready to take action, which brings us to the last component of the gear.
The Human Body
Our body is our instrument to take action, and it’s only when we take action that we see results, and that our gears gets completely activated. We have our dreams and ambitions, and we want them to come true. Dreams come true when we transform them into goals, and goals into actions. We will see more about this process in future editions. For now, you’ve got enough homework!
The gear of healthy success doesn’t get fully activated until we take action.
Key takeaways
- Changing the language we use to communicate with ourselves to progressively make it more constructive and encouraging is key to activate the gear of success.
- You can use your external observer to ask yourself: “Is this interpretation helping or hindering?”, whenever you catch yourself using non-constructive language. If you realize your interpretation is unhelpful, take a moment to rewrite it by asking yourself: “What could be a more positive way to build this story from the empowered mindset?
- Difficult emotions are like crying babies seeking attention: the less attention you pay to them, the faster they will dissipate, focus on examining your language instead.
- Your body is your instrument to take action in the world. It is only when we take action that we see results. Taking action is necessary to fully activate the gear to healthy success.
Ready for a more intensive, fast, and effective process? Discover how the Conscious Self-Rewiring Coaching Method can accelerate your personal growth. Book a complimentary 30-minute discovery call with Dr. Laura to explore the Healthy Success Coaching program. Coaching sessions online. In-person coaching in Dubai and the UAE.