COACH 101: ONLINE COACHING RESOURCES​

How to unblock your natural ability to achieve internal change

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to transform themselves and their lives effortlessly while others remain stuck?

Drawing from over fifteen years of research in behavioral transformation, I have identified three highly prevalent blockers that prevent people from achieving internal change and overcoming limitations.

BLOCKER 1: The Belief That You Are Fixed

Many people hold the belief that their traits and abilities are fixed, a misconception that overlooks our brain’s innate capacity for change, known as neuroplasticity. Like a muscle that strengthens with exercise, your brain can be trained and retrained. The notion that we are static, with unchangeable psychological traits, creates a barrier to personal growth and overcoming the limitations that we perceive as innate.

Common thoughts associated with this blocker include:

  • “This is just who I am.”
  • “I inherited this trait from my mom/dad.”
  • “It’s in my genes.”
  • “I’m naturally predisposed to suffering.”
  • “I can’t overcome my anxiety because this is just how I am.”

How to Retrain Your Mind to overcome the belief that you are fixed

Shift your perspective to view yourself as fluid, and in a state of continuous evolution. Envision your brain as a muscle that you can train to alter any unhelpful attributes you wish to change.

BLOCKER 2: Unhelpful Self-Labeling

Throughout life, we pick labels that we use to define our identity. However, these labels are far from neutral and can significantly restrict our potential for internal growth, often without our awareness.

Common thoughts associated with this blocker include:

  • “I AM shy.”
  • “I AM an overthinker.”
  • “I AM a sufferer.”
  • “I AM an anxious person.”
  • “I AM pessimistic…”
  • “I AM not good at achieving my goals.”
  • I AM not good at taking care of myself.”
  • I AM not good at public speaking.”

How to Retrain Your Mind to overcome unhelpful labeling

Carefully reconsider the labels you use to identify yourself. If you find yourself attributing your identity to traits like shyness or overthinking, consider these characteristics not as fixed parts of your nature but as transient states or areas for skill development. For instance, instead of saying, “I am shy,” reframe it as “I felt shy,” or view overthinking as a skill that can be managed or unlearned.

BLOCKER 3: Misconceiving Mental Wellness as a Personal Flaw

Thinking healthily is a SKILL that we can LEARN, just as we learn to speak or perform arithmetic. Unfortunately, the lack of mental wellness education in schools not only prevent individuals from learning this essential skill but also contributes to the stigma surrounding mental health. Consequently, it is not surprising that many people attribute their psychological struggles to personal shortcomings, leading to silent suffering that could have been avoided. 

Common thoughts associated with this blocker include:

  • “Something is fundamentally wrong with me.”
  • “I am broken”
  • “I’m destined to suffer because of my past.”
  • “Carrying this pain is normal.”
  • “There’s always going to be a harsh voice inside, it’s inevitable”

How to Retrain Your Mind to overcome the belief that there is something wrong with you

Realizing that thinking healthily is a skill that you can learn. Mental challenges should be seen not as flaws to be fixed but as processes to be retrained.

Think about that. Would you try to fix an airplane engine without learning how it works first? And would you actually manage if you still tried? If you’ve never been taught how your mind and brain work and interact and how you can train them to develop healthy thinking styles, it’s natural to develop unhelpful thought patterns. These patterns can diminish well-being, goal achievement, and lead to anxiety, overthinking, and other mental health struggles. 

We tend to try to “fix themselves” without learning first how to do it, which generally leads to another misconception: that achieving internal change is very complicated and takes a lot of effort. This belief only adds to the blockages preventing you from successfully achieving change. 

Having conducted experimental research on behavioral transformation for over 15 years, all I can say is that psychological improvement is much easier and faster than people tend to think, it’s all about finding the right techniques.

For example, in one of our studies, participants engaged with a virtual coach for just 15-20 minutes per week over three weeks. After this brief period, they demonstrated significant improvements in psychological well-being, goal achievement, personal growth initiative, life satisfaction, and a reduction in negative emotions.

While it’s not your fault that you didn’t receive education on mental wellness, it’s your choice whether you want to change it or not.

How to Get Started

By altering these beliefs, you dismantle the barriers to change, making it easier to find and apply techniques to improve areas of your life. Gaining an understanding of how our mind-brain ecosystem functions and how you can leverage your natural ability to self-rewire is the next step to work on if you want to overcome limitations, cultivate a growth mindset, and achieve healthy success. You can start this journey by exploring the materials on “How to Train your Conscious Self-Rewiring Ability for Healthy Success” which you will find under the free self-learning resources section (I recommend you to start with the first article and proceed through the series sequentially).

Ready for a more intensive, fast, and effective process? Discover how the Conscious Self-Rewiring Coaching Method can accelerate your personal growth. Book a complimentary 30-minute discovery call with Dr. Laura to explore the Healthy Success Coaching program. Coaching sessions online. In-person coaching in Dubai and the UAE.